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my boss: so how’s that story that was due last week comi–
me: [sky turns green, wind howls, head turns 180 degrees, unholy screams fill the office, bats fly out of my eyes, flesh melts off my bones, i unhinge my jaw and black lava spews out by the gallon, lava floods my cubicle, everything it touches bursts into flame, i am a howling demon skeleton & whole office is on fire]
my boss:
my boss:
my boss: so you’re saying it’s not d
me: YOU’LL KNOW WHEN IT’S F-ING DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
—
me two days later, crawling out of the abyss, covered in mud and unspeakable black ichor, tears of blood drying on my cheeks, all ribs broken, hair torn out, one eye hanging suspended from its wet string of nerve, lungs on outside of my body, literally impaled on 100 spears, clutching a word doc in my gore-soaked fist: here……….here it is. here is your 1500 words about the nursing industry
my boss:
my boss: this is late
me:
me:
me: I F U CKI̡̮͖̬Nͭͯ͋ G.. .K̹̖̲̰̦̘̳N̘̱̪ Ô̌ͯͪ͂͒̈́͒̚͞͏̩̩̞͍ W̴̛͎͓̮͉̳̹͍͉̖͋̎̃͊
“Follow the rainbow to my door….” The male Satin Bowerbird, an Australian species endemic to the rainforests of the East Coast regions of the mainland and Tasmania, constructs an intricate ‘bower’ on which to display, dance and attract a mate. All bowerbird species do this, however the Satin variety has a penchant for indigo blue and collects all kinds of objects in various shades of this colour to decorate the bower with. The male Satin bowerbird’s plumage has an iridescent sheen in this colour, and the female, whilst having spotted beige plumage, has a striking eye colour in this same indigo shade as well. Male bowerbirds spend an extraordinary amount of effort and time adorning their bowers, arranging and re-arranging objects around it’s entrance as seen in the above photo examples.
sometimes when I’m sad, I remember Chris Hayes being so tired and hungry at the end of the night on MSNBC during whatever early primary a million years ago that he called him Bernie Sandwiches, and just the purity of that moment, the more I think about it the happier I am, for a nice little minute!
I: What about the scene with you and Mackie in the Volkswagen, there’s gotta be an hour of stories just from the two of you sitting in that car together, and also, how does Bucky not get shot gun?
Also I wanna highlight the ridiculous expressions Seb and Mackie were making in reaction to Chris’ kiss:
sashayed 